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Tahmineh wears the all-encompassing, black chador because her parents insist on it, and because neighbours in her conservative community gossip about women who choose to wear the headscarf and manteau, the overcoat that is meant to keep curves concealed.
But in Tehran, being a virgin does not mean that Tahmineh has not had sex. Of course I want to have proper sex, but until I know for sure that my boyfriend wants to get married, I can’t risk it.” Before Tahmineh graduated to anal sex, she and her friends were having la-paee (literally, “thigh”) sex, where the man uses a woman’s clenched thighs to orgasm.
Not forgetting the city’s “special” women – the government’s euphemism for prostitutes.
Nobody knows how many work in the capital but, in a city of about 12 million, the official figure of 300,000 is thought to be a considerable underestimate.
For more than 30 years, the Islamic Republic has been obsessively battling against sex.
It is preoccupied by how and with whom its people are having it.
Like most girls in her neighbourhood in Tehran, Tahmineh is a virgin. For many men, a woman’s virginity is a non-negotiable prerequisite for marriage.
Even among some of the richer classes that ostensibly live more “western” lives, partying with alcohol and music, the men will happily sleep around but will want to marry someone “pure”.
Mullahs on television and radio philosophise and advise about it, sometimes in surprisingly lascivious detail.University is one of the few spheres where people from all backgrounds get the chance to socialise.Tahmineh credits her time at university as the experience that changed her perception of sex and morality.It was the first time she had been exposed to people with values different from her own.“Before, I wasn’t allowed to mix with boys, not even members of my family.
Tahmineh believes there are rising numbers of girls like her, who are from religious or traditional families but prepared to experiment sexually before marriage.